The other day during a session I felt good. The weight was adding up and it felt like playtime. Then I reached this one lift that I just couldn’t make. I did it over and over, trying to get myself out of psychological holes and technical dips. (If you’re a beginner, there are plenty of those.)
Lifting is sometimes frustrating, especially when technique doesn’t want to cooperate with strength. My reaction after my last attempt was to shout “COCK” very loudly, which disrupted a semi-professional rugby conditioning session.
We all react in some way to missed lifts. Here are some of my favourites.
1) THE TOP SLAMMER
Yes! You must strip to display that you’re still awesome. You’re comfortable in your own skin, and you’re not too bothered about anybody else’s comments. Now that you’re naked, why not go primal and make a gorilla call too?
2) THE GRRRRRROWLER
You must growl as you are just having a bad session. You’re a meathead, you don’t express your emotions verbally! You are the ultimate manliest man of all the men.
Growling is also one of the side effects of using anabolic steroids. Or so I have heard.
3) THE WAH MOMENT
Crying. Yes, it’s that time of the month when emotions are testing you in life. You just wanted to be great today! It means so much to you, this failed lift, that at the moment it is simply too much to cope with.
To stop this you need sex and pizza. Don’t wait until you leave the gym- call for delivery now!
4) THE SMILER
You didn’t quite make the lift. Not bothered, bit crazy, this is not the most challenging thing you have ever faced. So you smile. Like a shark.
The rest of us should be afraid of these people. They’re an advanced level of badassery, just like Christmas when she bombed USA National qualifications. What a babe.
5) THE DIVA
Yes, you missed it so you’re just going to slam all your equipment on the floor. Nobody knows how to approach you. Nobody wants to. Weights are flying everywhere. It’s a true diva meltdown at a missed lift. It’s just awkward.
Team miniBig lifts
Rose: None of the above. ‘I find myself more of a giggler’
Sarah: ‘MY TOPKNOT IS TOO TIGHT RAAAARRRR’ ( I guess this means she is a growler, or a Diva)
I would say I’m a smiler.
Which kind of missed lifter are you? Have you seen other ones that aren’t here? Tell us in the comments.