Whitticisms, Volume 3: It’s a Metaphor

Welcome back to Whitticisms, our ongoing payback for chronicle of things our coach, Dave Whittington, says and does. It’s been over a month since our last entry, but in my defense that was a bumper birthday edition. (Also, I’ve been kinda busy.)

Let’s see if I can slap this one together in half an hour or so. First, Lauren sent me this picture:


As they say on the Internet, “Oh exploitable!” I lack the photoshop skills to really have fun with this, but there’s always memegenerator.

You got served.
No, I wasn’t in The Lord of the Rings, but I can see why you’d think that.



That’ll do.

Part of effective coaching is communicating through metaphor (and/or simile). This can help ingrain unfamiliar concepts into a client’s memory by building connections between the skills being taught and his or her prior experience.

Or, in Dave’s case, it can ingrain unfamiliar concepts into the client’s memory by startling the fuck out of them:

“You look like a spastic lobster.”

“You look like a fat wookiee. Lift the weight.”

“Your position in the bottom needs to be more solid. You can’t build a house on trifle.”

“You’re holding your body like a flaccid penis, which is no good for snatches.”

“He has a face carved out of Spam. [thoughtful pause] So do I, to be fair.”

“Watching you do that, I’m reminded of a sci-fi novel I read once. There’s this team of green recruits exploring a planet, and at one point they’re all hanging off a rope down a chasm. The only way they can save their lives is by hauling themselves up, and the grizzled superior officer yells at them to ‘Brace, you limp bastards, brace!’ That’s how I’m feeling right now; that’s your lesson tonight: Brace, you limp bastard, brace.”


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