You may have gathered from the lack of an update, but I didn’t get a total yesterday at the British Championships. Some may expect tears, disappointment, anger, frustration, and sadness from me. I can say only two of those feelings actually apply here.
Disappointment – dɪsəˈpɔɪntm(ə)nt
(of hopes or expectations prevented from being realised)
I was unable to showcase everything Dave and I had been working for this past year. In a way, all I have been doing since last year’s bronze medal is training for this year’s British Championships.
On the day the goal was to chase a snatch near 80 kg and try to go over the 100 mark on the clean and jerks. I had the legs, I had the graft work laid down. I’d smashed my weight drop. When I stepped out on to the platform everything I’d done had gone better than ever before.
Then I missed three snatches I have hit week by week for the past eight months.
Frustration – frʌˈstreɪʃn
(the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something)
Doing what I’ve shown I’m capable of in the gym would have got me a gold medal yesterday. But I’m sat here with nothing. The frustration boiling beneath my skin is almost unbearable.
Never a Negative
I’m not taking any of this as negative, or as a sign that all is lost. Some other very seasoned lifters bombed out this weekend other than me. And anyway, I’m the delusional optimist who still thinks her glass is full even when there is no water in it, simply because it’s still filled with air.
I want to congratulate all the medal winners, as they have worked every hour on the platforms the same as I have. It was fantastic watching girls I have trained, competed and shared friendships with over the last year achieve great things as they did yesterday.
I live however to fight another day. Dave will always be by my side, I will always have the support of my friends and family, I will always shout EASY WEIGHT even past the days of double body weight. And people will continue to spell my name wrong (*looks sternly at Rose*).
Why? Because I am an athlete. My strength is for a lifetime. A competition is a stop on the journey along the way. I may have fallen out of the car like an idiot, but at least unlike the last time I did that I didn’t break my foot ( long story, one for another time).
I still have goals to reach by the end of this year. I plan to far surpass them.
Back in the car, kids, we have some lifting to do.